A Broken Figure
by Shade-T
Summary: "Everyone walks a different path, my child. But you, you walk many." It shouldn't have surprised her, she knew she wasn't family, she knew they didn't consider her one of them, one of the Shadowhunters, but it still hurt. She was strong, but you can only push so far before a person breaks, so will she? I hope you give this a fic a try.
1. Chapter 1

**One**

Isabelle is sitting on the bed's edge, eyeing me warily. She's not speaking, just watching. It's too late for words anyways. I sigh, slamming the bag onto the bed. Tears well up in my eyes, and I swipe at them angrily. Opening the closet, I grab my daggers, and whatever mundane money I had saved. I ruffle through the rest, only taking what's mine. By the time I'm done, the duffel bag is barely full. I never really bothered with much. Never needed it.

I leave what's not mine. A hoodie I had borrowed from Jace. A pair of heels Izzy gave me for a night out. A dreamcatcher Alec bought me when I first came here. A stuffed wolf that Max gave me to remind me of him when he left to Alicante with his parents. I guess I could've taken all of that, none of them would really miss any of it. Jace never bothered taking any of his hoodies back. Izzy had more heels than she'd care to count. Alec probably forgot about the dreamcatcher years ago. But it was easier this way, severing all the ties makes it easier to forget. A lesson that I learnt long ago.

Izzy is still silent, still looking at me with barely concealed concern.

"Anybody saw my stele?" Jace barges in, without knocking. As always.

"Don't you ever knock?" I ask, hoping he wouldn't notice the bag.

"Nope." He looks around. "What're you packing for? Got a new mission?" He retorts. Guess my wish went unanswered.

Izzy is watching with shifty eyes, alternating between looking at me and Jace.

"No, I'm…uh…leaving."

"Leaving for what?" He asks, bending to look for his stele under my bed.

"Nothing. I'm just leaving."

"Leaving where, Ash?" He asks, straightening.

"Leaving the institute, Jace." Izzy says.

"Is it because…I thought Alec told you, I swear. He said he did. I wouldn't have agreed to it otherwise." He looks guilty. "I wanted to wait for you to come back, but mom kept pushing, and I just-I just-"

"No." I stiffen. "I'm not that petty. I'm just…" I trail off, not knowing what to say.

Izzy does it for me. "Mom asked her to leave." That's putting it mildly, she kicked me out.

Jace looks puzzled. "Mom told her to leave?"

"Yeah, dumbass. Izzy already said that." I clear my throat. "I left your things here. Give Max his wolf back."

"But you can't just leave!" Jace tries.

"Really? Watch me."

Izzy looks helpless. "We could try talking to mom."

Jace is nodding along to her words wildly. "Yeah. Why did she even ask you to leave?"

I ignore his question. "Come on, Iz. You heard her. I'm not doing that."

"Why?" Jace asks, voice raised slightly.

"Because I'm not." I snap. I was _not_ going to have this conversation. I was _not_ going to let Maryse have another chance at humiliating me.

Izzy looks like she's about to say something, but Jace beats her to it. "Does Alec know about this?" He treads lightly.

"I don't know, and I'm not sticking around to find out," I say, keeping my eyes trained on the zipper as I close it.

"But Alec- He'll-" Jace tries again.

"Won't make a difference," I cut him off. "We both know it."

He looks away, not meeting my eyes. I walk to the closet, retrieving both the heels and the hoodie. "Here, they're yours."

Jace snorts. "Keep it. One more isn't going to hurt."

I protest, but a look from him silences me, and I nod at him in thanks. He's right, of course. I already nicked way too many of his and Alec's hoodies. Turning to Isabelle, I make to hand her the heels, but she gently shakes her head.

"Who knows when you're gonna need heels, right? They looked better on you anyways."

I laugh softly, holding back tears. "Some of his stuff is still in the closet, just give it back to him."

Jace nods, still refusing to meet my eyes. "We'll still go on missions?"

I shake my head. "Later. I'm thinking I'll lay low for awhile."

"I still don't get why she did that," Izzy voices her thoughts after a few minutes of silence. "I didn't understand what she said."

It wouldn't make a difference if she knew or not. It had happened long ago and nothing could change it. Sure, it wasn't fair I'm being punished for something that wasn't my fault, but nobody said life was fair. Stuffing the heels and hoodie into the bag, I shoulder it. I hug Izzy, and then turn to hug Jace. He holds onto me tightly, not letting go.

"I'm sorry." He whispers into my ear. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Ash."

"It's fine. It's over." It wasn't his fault, not really. He was lied to. We were both lied to. "Just be happy, alright? For me."

He tightens his arms around me one more time before letting go. I nod at them one last time, and walk to the door.

"Wait." Izzy calls.

I turn around, looking at her expectantly. "Yeah?"

"Do you have a place to stay at?" She asks.

"Probably."

"What does that mean?" Jace butts in.

"That means I might have a place to stay at or not."

"That's not what he meant and you know it." Izzy shoots back, exasperated. "What are you going to do? Sleep on the street?"

"If I had to." I wasn't lying, I would, but I knew it wouldn't come to that.

Izzy looks shocked for a second, before giving me a pitying look.

"Don't worry, Iz."

"Yeah, Iz. Don't worry." Jace mocks me. "It's not like Ash is going to be walking around alone where any demon can get her, not to mention, she has nowhere to stay. I mean, what's there to worry about?" He finishes, raising an eyebrow at me.

I punch his arm playfully. "Come on, Jace. I'm not the best for nothing."

"Whatever. Just give me a call when you have a place. Cause if you don't, I'm coming after you."

"I will."

"Promise?" Izzy prompts, she knew I never broke a promise.

"Promise."

Turning around, Izzy and Jace leave before me, each shooting me a sad smile and going their own way. It was for the best. At least that's what I tried to convince myself.

As I put my hand on the door's handle, I look at the room one last time. It was mine for years, and now it looked no different from another unoccupied institute room. Sighing sadly, I leave the room, closing the door behind me.

As I walk towards the institute's door, nobody notices. It looks like I'm going for another mission. Exactly the way Maryse wanted it.

I hoped luck would be on my side today, figures it isn't. Just as I thought I'd be out of the institute's door, I run into the one person that I couldn't stand.

"Where are you going?" I can't believe he's acting like we're still the same, we aren't. I thought he was smart enough to know it, but then again I was wrong about him when it came to many things.

"Out," I reply shortly.

"Where?" He asks. Again.

"I fucking told you already. Out." I'm so not in the mood to deal with him.

"I got that part, Ash. Ou-"

"Don't."

"Don't what?" He takes a step closer, and I step back.

"Don't call me that. Only my friends call me that." I say, fire in my words.

I watch as he flinches. "Ash, come on. I-"

"Save it, Alexander." He flinches again at hearing his full name. "I don't want to hear it," I sneer.

I push past him, and he grabs my arm. "Ashley, please. Just-"

I shrug his hands off, and brush past him to leave through the doors. The cold frosts against my face. He shouts my name one last time.

I don't look back.


	2. Chapter 2

I reach the loft by midnight. Knocking softly, I wait for the door to open. It doesn't take long before Magnus answers the door looking ready to fry an intruder. His expression turns into one of surprise when he realizes it's me.

"What're you doing here?" He asks, bewildered.

"Sheesh, I missed you too." I say, my words dripping with sarcasm.

He beckons me into the loft. "Did the glamour wear off? Does it hurt anywhere?" He sprouts question after question, not giving me time to answer.

"No, the glamour didn't fade." I shake my head, it only ever faded when his magic was too weak, or I was too weak to control it.

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I sigh. "I…I need a place to stay. Is it okay if I stay here until I get my own place, Mags?" I ask hesitantly. I never exactly liked asking for help.

He looks confused, but answers anyway. "Of course. You can stay as long as you need."

I let out a relieved sigh. "Thank you."

He sits for a minute in silence, before speaking. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, Ash. You just asked me for a place to stay. You can't possibly think that I would believe you." He says.

I put my head in my hands, not answering, not moving. Magnus doesn't move either, he stays for another minute or two, before going to the kitchen. Knowing Magnus, he was just giving me time, _and_ looking for a drink.

A couple minutes later, I feel the couch as it dips beside me. He's so close, I can hear his heartbeat. I don't look up, my head still in my hands. He leans closer, pulling me into his chest, and I break. Sobs rake my body, and I hold onto Magnus' shirt. Tears that I held back for so long tumble down, splashing on his shirt.

"I-I don't know wh-what happened. Every-everything was fine, then-" I feel pathetic, tired, as I cry into Magnus' shoulder. I can't continue, and he doesn't ask me to. I hated crying, it made me feel so…so weak. He just holds me until I stop crying, wipe my eyes, and calm down. He stays quiet a few minutes after that too, not speaking, giving me time to compose myself, I guess.

A couple more minutes pass, before he finally speaks. "I think you need a drink, then we can talk."

I give a watery chuckle in response. "Something strong. Really strong."

He nods, grabbing a cocktail he got for himself, and a bottle of vodka for me. He knows me too well. I take a hearty gulp before asking if he wants some. He doesn't.

I take a shaky breath before talking. "We promised, Magnus. He lied. He chose him without telling me. He promised. We all did." My words stop making sense, and I repeat them over and over again, louder each time.

I'm still leaning on Magnus, and he looks confused. He doesn't understand. I drink half the bottle in one go, savoring the burn of alcohol as it goes down my throat.

"What did he promise, Ash?" Magnus asks in a soft voice, trying to prompt an answer. Trying to calm me down.

I ignore his question. "Maryse said I wasn't useful anymore. Told me to pack and leave," I say, pausing to drink more. "I did. Obviously," I add, gesturing to myself.

Magnus looks shocked. "She told you to leave?"

"Does everyone have to ask this question?" I ask, annoyed. "Yes, she told me to fucking leave. And I did."

"Why?" He seems to be speechless, not believing what I was telling him.

"Why? Why?" I laugh. "Cause I'm not useful anymore. Cause I'm gonna tarnish the family's reputation. I'm not even fucking family." I laugh again, this time louder, longer. I sober up for a second. "Cause I'm used goods."

Magnus barely holds back a gasp. "Don't say that!"

"Why not? It's the truth. We both know it." I drink the rest of the vodka. Cocking my head to the side, I whine. "Mags, it's empty."

"Because you drank it." He doesn't sound amused to me, instead it almost seems like he's sad. "I can't believe she'd say that." He murmurs quietly.

"I can. She never liked me." I look at the empty bottle, then turn to Magnus. "It's still empty."

"You had enough," he says firmly.

"No, I want more. I can just go and get some, you know?"

"Yes, of course you can. Then you'll lose control of your glamour," he says with finality, thinking he had won. He hadn't.

"So? It's just you here. You've already seen me. Just one more bottle. I promise."

He sighs, watching me as I pout the way Jace had taught me. He caves in, making another bottle appear in his hands, he gives it to me. I giggle happily, "Thanks, Magnus."

I down most of it in one go, watching Magnus wince. "You're going to have one hell of a hungover tomorrow."

I ignore him, finishing the rest. He sighs as I put my head in his lap. "We'll talk more in the morning, okay?" He says.

"Hmmm..." I say, not adding anything. "Shit, I forgot to call Jace. Can you pass me my phone?"

Magnus sighs. Again. Before handing me the phone. "Why're you calling him?"

"I have to. Promised him." My words are kind of slurred by now.

Jace picks up after the fourth ring. "'Sup, Ash?"

"I found a place, Jace."

"A safe one?" The background sounds are loud, I strain to heat him.

"Yeah, Jace. A safe one."

"How safe?"

"It has magical-wards safe."

"Just be careful. I'll call you later. Make sure you're still breathing."

"It's so loud around you. Mission?"

"Nah, we're at the club."

I frown, remembering it was a Friday. The four of us always went out every Friday, no matter what. They were already forgetting about me.

"Oh, right. Today's a Friday." My words are getting increasingly slurred, the alcohol setting in my system.

"Are you drunk, Ash?"

"Me? No. I'm going to sleep. Night, Jace."

"Ash, wa-" I hang up.

Magnus looks at me. "Everything okay?"

"Huh?" I stare at him a minute too long. "It's fine. Just fine." I rest my head in his lap again, drifting into a drunken sleep.

_break_

The next day, I wake up with one hell of a hungover. My head throbs, and I can feel the headache setting in. I open my eyes, and quickly close them again. The light hurts.

I stay in bed for a few more minutes, before rolling on my side, Magnus had left a painkiller and some water on the bedside. Thank the angels for that man. Downing both, I make my way to the shower.

After taking a long hot shower, I dry my hair and change into new clothes. I wear a huge sweater, I wasn't sure if my glamour was going to hold up today. The intense hungover definitely wasn't helping.

I walk out of the room to find Magnus sitting at the table, nibbling on an apple. Magnus was a shit cook. Couldn't cook if his life depended on it. You would think that being a centuries old warlock he would've learnt something, but not Magnus. He was obviously waiting for me to wake up, so we can eat.

"Morning, Sunshine." He says mockingly.

"Shut up." I shoot back, jokingly. "I feel like a train ran me over."

"You drank too much. I caught you sneaking some in the room early this morning."

I did_ not_ remember that. All I remembered was coming late yesterday, crying, drinking, talking, then falling asleep. Oh yeah, and stumbling around.

"I don't remember that." I say as I plop onto the kitchen's island. One of the best things about being a Shadowhunter is how fast you get over a hungover. "What do you want to eat?"

"It's fine, Ashley. I'll make something up." I hate how he's trying to cut me some slack. I always cook when I stay over.

"Yeah, with magic. Just let me do it. So?"

"French toast?" He asks hopefully.

"Yup," I say, popping the p. "Was gonna make some anyway. Perfect cure for a hungover." _And eating away your sorrows_, I think.

Magnus watches me as I get to work. I know where everything is better than he does at this point. I work quickly, the steps memorized. I talk to Magnus as I start cutting the toast.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to freak out on you."

"Wasn't a freak out. Are you better now?" He asks softly.

"Meh. The drinks helped." I say, laughing. My head rings.

"And here I was thinking it was me."

I snort. "And you did too."

"Add more sugar, Ash."

I nod, adding sugar and stirring the mixture again. I leave the toast to soak in the liquid for a few minutes, sitting on the table, facing Magnus.

"You said we'll talk in the morning." Magnus starts slowly.

"I was drunk." I don't want to talk.

"No, you were tipsy," he says, glaring at me. "And we're talking."

"No."

"Yes."

"No. We're not talking." I glare.

"We are, whether you like it or not."

"Fine. Talk."

Magnus looks surprised, apparently thinking it'd take more fighting to convince me. "Okay." He stares at me, waiting for me to talk.

"Oh, I'm not talking." I smirk.

"Then who's going to talk?"

"You wanted to talk. So talk."

"Fine." Magnus is frustrated, but he holds back. "You can't say things like that about yourself. Doesn't matter who else said it."

I look away, remembering what I said yesterday. Instead of answering, I start frying the toast.

"Ash, what really happened?"

"I already told you. Maryse told me to leave."

"I got that part, but why?" Magnus always read between the lines. Always found out more than I wanted him to.

"I don't know," I sigh. That was a huge lie.

"Why don't you start from the beginning, then we can go from there." I hate it when he's being so logical.

I take a deep breath. "Izzy and I were on a mission. I was blowing off steam. We came back, and Maryse signaled me to follow her. I thought it was another mission, or she needed a report, or something."

Magnus doesn't talk, gives me time to continue.

"Izzy came with me. Maryse wasn't too happy about that. She wanted me alone, I guess. I tried greeting her, but she was stone-faced, you'd think someone died." I chuckle humorlessly. "She looked me right in the eye, Magnus, and said, 'I have no use for you anymore, you're already past your peak. Damaged and used. I can't have people associating you with us. The Lightwood name is on the line here.' I didn't say anything Magnus, I just listened." I say, my voice breaking. "Just listened. She said a lot more, but I kind of blocked it out."

"She's wrong, Ash," Magnus says, anger evident in his voice. "I should've never let you leave."

"She's right, Mags. It's time to admit it. Damaged, used, broken, scarred. You choose."

Magnus shakes he's head. "It's not. It wasn't your fault. And you're not damaged."

"Because I hide behind magic. I glamour everything." I've been doing it for years, why stop now.

"It was your choice. If you want me to take it off, I will. But that doesn't mean you're damaged. She just doesn't see it." He says it with so much conviction, that I almost believe him. Almost.

I nod, not convinced. "Izzy was surprised, you know? Tried to talk Maryse out of it. I didn't bother. She told me to pack my bags and leave. She gave me a day, Magnus. Want to know what I said?"

Magnus looks at me sadly, playing along with my crazed state. "What?"

"I said I'll be gone before the sun set. She nodded, said that efficiency had always been a good trait of mine. And she dismissed me. Me." I point to myself using the spatula. "The best she had at the institute. Gone."

"That woman has some nerve." He growls.

"Hmmm." I nod. "The toast is ready." I say, placing a plate in front of him.

He thanks me before starting to eat. We eat in silence for a minute or so, Magnus eyeing me.

"What?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering…does this mean you won't get any missions?" He asks. He knows how important being a shadowhunter is to me.

"I…I don't know. I didn't think about that." I sigh. "How's the toast?"

"Good." He answers, after swallowing a mouthful. "I missed this."

I know he's not referring to the toast anymore. "Yeah, I missed it too."

We continue breakfast without words, and Magnus does the dishes using his magic. He walks to his bookcase, choosing a book to read.

As I make my way to the bedroom to sleep off the hungover, Magnus speaks, his back still turned to me. "I've seen you without glamour. You aren't damaged or broken. Not to me."

A small smile makes its way onto my face, before I go into the room. Closing the door behind me, I look at the mirror. It was amazing, what some magic can do. It can hide, and heal. Or hurt, it depends really. Turning away, I switch off the light and slip under the covers. In the dark, I can be whoever I wanted, even if it was for a few minutes.

I drop the glamour.

_Since you've reached this part, I really really hope you liked this chapter. And the one before it of course. I'd love to hear what you guys think, and if there is any way I could improve my writing. _

_With much love, _  
_Farida_


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up an hour later, the headache was mostly gone, a dull throb replacing it. When you drink with Iz and Jace, you learn to recover way faster. Putting on some clothes, I adjust the glamour. Magnus is sitting at the table, reading a spell book, while trying out some. He looks up as I near him.

"Going anywhere?" He asks, noticing my attire.

"I need chocolate."

"You always need chocolate, Ash." He says, chuckling.

I laugh, lacing my boots. "You want anything?"

"No. Just come back."

"I will." I assure him, as I make my way to the door. "I'll save you some."

_break_

The bell rings as I enter the little shop. The man at the counter raises his head.

"Hey, Ash." He waves. "Haven't see you in a while."

"Been busy, Marco." I say.

The mundane smiles. "How many boxes?"

"Umm…four. Oh, and add some caramel pastries. And some chocolate ones too, please." I guess I've gone back to eating away my sorrows. That means more working out, which is better than laying around. At least then I'd be doing something other than sulking.

He raises his eyebrows at me, while packing the boxes. He knows which chocolates are my favourite. "Had a bad day?"

"Something like that." If only he knew. It was more like bad luck.

He hands me the chocolate boxes, along with the pastries. I thank him before paying. Walking out of the shop, I open a box of chocolate, and pop one in my mouth. I don't stop until the first box is finished. And the second. I eat some of the pastries too. God, I'll have to work my ass off to burn all this sugar.

_break_

I walk around aimlessly for a few hours, not having a destination in mind. I watch as a boy bumps into people. A pickpocket. He slips silently through the crowd, nicking phones, wallets, watches, anything of value.

He stops every couple minutes, spacing time between each stolen item. He nears, and I avert my eyes as he picks his next victim. He bumps into me, and a hand slips into my pocket lightly. He's about to pull his hand out, alongside my phone, when I clutch his hand. He stiffens, realizing he got caught. He looks much younger up close. I'd say about thirteen. He looks grubbier too. And definitely skinnier.

"Not so fast." I say.

He's trying to free his hand from mine, but he can't.

"Don't try. God, stop moving. You won't be able to-" He cuts me halfway by stepping on my foot.

I scoff. "One more and I'm hurting you. Just hand over the phone and go."

He stills. "You won't call the cops?"

"No, I won't. Wouldn't want them to waste their time on a lousy pickpocket."

"Hey!"

"What? You got caught, didn't you?"

He looks away in embarrassment, before handing me the phone. As I let go of his hands, I notice red lines criss crossing over each other. Some lines seem thin. Others a bit wider. And some are definitely infected, giving off an unhealthy yellowish hue. I grab his hands again.

"You said you wouldn't call the cops!" He's afraid, I can see as much.

"I won't, I promise." I think quickly. "But, what about a bite?" I ask. He looked like he needed it, and it gave me more time.

"A bite?" His eyes are hungry. Whatever he has been stealing, I don't think it was for him.

"Yeah. I was going to grab some food, you can join me if you want to." I carefully phrase it like a suggestion, even though it isn't one.

I watch as he debates whether it's worth the risk or not. But apparently, his hunger overpowered his sense of danger, and he nods. Watching me warily, he walks beside me as I start walking again.

"Where are we going?" He asks. He's paranoid, afraid this is a trap.

"Your choice. We can go anywhere." I reply. If he chose the place, he'd be more at ease.

His eyes light up before looking at me suspiciously. "Anywhere?"

"Yes, anywhere." I assure him.

"I don't mind the place as long as they have a good burger." He shrugs.

I laugh. "I know just the place."

We walk in silence the rest of the way. He's scrutinizing me, watching the way I walk, looking for a weakness. I pretend I don't notice, but of course I do. And I watch him in return. He has a slight limp, but it's doesn't seem to bother him much, and he can keep up his pace.

As we enter the shop, his eyes scan the place. I chose a place that wouldn't be too crowded, somewhere where we can talk. Hopefully.

He stands silently beside me as I place my order. I nudge him softly with my foot, prompting him to order. He utters his choice softly to the cashier. She shoots me a questioning look, obviously not used to boys his age being that soft-spoken. I shrug in answer.

After paying, I find us a booth. He sits quietly, not meeting my eyes. My heart aches for the boy, and I try to start a conversation.

"What's your name, pickpocket?"

"What's yours?" He asks back, his eyes finally meeting mine.

"I asked first." I reply, this kid was gonna be hard.

"So?" He shoots back, staring back at me. So he did have an attitude after all.

I decide to give in. "Name's Ashley. You can call me Ash."

He nods. "I'm Sam."

"Just Sam?" I ask.

He looks uncomfortable answering. "Sam Valor, ma'am."

"Call me Ash." I repeat.

"What about you? Just Ash?" He asks, throwing my question back at me.

"Yeah, I'm just Ash."

"Wait. Really?" He asks, disbelieving.

"Yeah, got no last name. So, how old are you?" I say, changing the subject.

"Fourteen."

"You don't go to school, Sam?"

He breaks the eye contact, fiddling with the napkin. "Sometimes. When I can."

When I can._ When I can_. I was going to ask him about that if the food hadn't arrived. I watch as he eats, slowly, deliberately, taking his time to chew the food.

We eat without talking, and I notice that he had only eaten half of his burger. "Not hungry?" I'm sure he's starving. Half a burger isn't enough. Jace literally inhaled food, Sam should be just as hungry.

His checks redden. "Just saving some for later."

"Oh." I make sure my tone doesn't seem to be pitying. "I can get you some to take home." He deserves it. He is just a kid. He shouldn't have to 'save some for later'.

His eyes snap up in surprise to meet mine. "Why?"

I shrug, thinking of an answer that wouldn't give me away. "Cause you need it," I finally say.

We eat the rest of the meal in silence, not talking until both our plates are polished clean.

"Man, those fries were amazing." Sam says, for the first time sounding like a typical teenager boy.

"I'm glad you liked it." I pause for a minute, thinking about something. "How many of you are there?"

"Of what?"

"How many siblings do you have?" I clarify.

"One. Why?"

"Nothing." I'm guessing they aren't that well off either.

I order some burgers and fries, then wait beside Sam as they are prepared.

"You the older one?" I ask. He probably was.

"Yeah," he sighs. He is more at ease now, that he had finished his food.

"How old is your little sibling?"

"She's five. Rose." A small smile morphs on his face as he mentions his sister.

"That's a pretty name. What about your dad?"

The smile disappears in a second, and his expression turns into a guarded one. "He's fine." He doesn't say much, but he doesn't have to. The way he reacted spoke volumes.

"Is he?" I say, cocking an eyebrow, while glancing at his scarred hands.

Sam shifts, hiding his hands with his sleeves, but doesn't answer. I don't ask him to, I already know the answer. Getting the packed food, I hand it to him.

He looks at me before whispering his thanks. I nod, not saying anything back. As we leave the shop, the cold clings to my skin, and I pull my jacket closer to my body. As I look at Sam, I notice that he only has a shirt on. No jacket. No coat. And the shirt is too thin, it wouldn't ward off the cold. Shrugging off my jacket, I hold it out to him. He's almost as tall as I am, but kind of skinny. The jacket should fit him, albeit not too well, but still ward off the frosty weather.

He looks at me confused, not understanding my offer.

"Here, you can have it."

"What? No. It's fine." He shakes his head, refusing to take it.

"Come on, you need it." He needed it way more than I did. I had more anyways.

"But it's yours!" He protests.

"Exactly, and I'm giving it to you. So take it."

He makes to refuse once more, but I drape it over his shoulders. He looks at me, then wears the jacket fully, pulling it close to his body. He was obviously cold.

"You can keep it. I won't need it." It was my favorite leather jacket, but he didn't need to know that.

"Thank you for everything, Ash." He says, his voice barely above a whisper. That's the most sincere I've heard him all night. "You're pretty nice."

"Sure thing, pickpocket."

He smirks. "You're the first to catch me, you know?"

I snort. "You expect me to believe that? Your work is sloppy."

He looks offended for a second. "What do you know about pickpocketing?"

"Way more than you do."

"Prove it." He says, challenging me.

"Maybe some other day."

"I doubt it." He probably thought I wouldn't see him again.

"We'll see."

We walk a few more minutes, before Sam speaks, "I should get going, Ash."

"Okay. I'll see you around."

He nods. Turning around the corner, I watch his figure as it disappears into the crowd. I'll see him later, when the time's right.

_break_

I try sneaking in quietly, in case Magnus is sleeping. Turns out, he's not. He's still bent over the book, a martini in hand.

He looks up as I enter. "You're late."

"Sorry, mom." I joke. "I saved you a box, and some of the pastries too."

He looks up, eyeing the box. "How many boxes did you buy?"

I duck my head. "…four?"

He raises a slightly judgmental eyebrow at me. "You ate three. That's almost a hundred piece."

"What? I was…hungry." I say as an excuse.

"No, you were sad." Magnus looks at me, daring me to argue.

"Whatever." I scoff. "I'll go change."

After washing up, I change my clothes and pick up my phone on my way out of the room. I throw myself on the couch, sprawling all over it. Magnus shakes his head at me, before practicing more of his spells.

"Hey, Magnus." I say, thinking of something.

"Yeah?" He doesn't look up from the book.

"How do you know when someone's a Shadowhunter?" I ask.

He looks at me confused. "The runes, most of the time."

"No, no. I mean a young child, that has no runes, at all."

"I don't know. Doesn't the Clave keep a record or something?" He says, turning back to the book.

"They do." I nod. "But sometimes they lose sight of a family. Or more." I say, bitterly.

"What's this about?" He asks. "Is this about what Maryse said?"

"What? No." I think for a moment. "How do you know when someone's a Downworlder? I mean, warlocks, and the wolves. The seelies maybe."

"What's this about?" He asks again, not answering my question.

"If I tell you, will you answer my question?"

I have his full attention now, his book  
long-forgotten. "Yes."

"I met this kid. He's fourteen. A pickpocket. Pretty fast, and light too."

"He robbed you?" He asks, surprised.

"He tried, and I caught him. He actually stepped on my foot to get away. I was gonna let him go after he gave me my phone back"

"But?" He prompts.

"I noticed scars on his hands. They looked new, thank the Angel. I couldn't just let him leave, Magnus. So, I took him out for a burger. Talked to him for a bit. I healed his hand too, but he didn't notice it." I add the last bit quickly, before Magnus starts giving me shit about it.

"What did you talk about?" Typical Magnus. Get all the details before helping.

"Nothing much. He has a little sister. And you had to see his face when I asked about his father. He just…shut down. Blank."

Magnus nods, understanding what I meant. "You think he's a Shadowhunter?"

"Maybe. Yes. I don't know. I mean, he could be a Downworlder." I stop a second. "Or a mundane. But he still needs help. The scars, Magnus, they reminded me…" I trail off.

"…they reminded you of your own." He finishes.

"…yes. So, I gave him my jacket, and put a paper in his pocket with my number on it. I bet he'll call in a week, tops."

Magnus gives me a look. "Or he'll throw it away, and forget about it."

"Way to dampen the mood. So how do I know which one is he?"

"I don't know. You'll have to find out yourself."

I gasp. "I thought you'd tell me how."

"I don't know how. I can't tell them apart." He says, but I doubt it. "Pass me those chocolates, Ash."

Sighing, I pass them over, before taking one for me.

"Hey!" Magnus protests.

"I bought them."

We sit for a bit, talking and joking around, sharing the chocolate between us. The ringing of my phone brings the conversation to a stop. I look at the screen, expecting Jace or Izzy, maybe even Alexander, but definitely not her. Magnus shoots me a questioning look when he notices my face.

I answer the phone.

_Hey, you guys. I'm so so happy that some people seem to be enjoying this, and the reviews I've gotten boosted by confidence by a long mile._

_This chapter works more as a setting chapter than anything. Its kind of a filler. Starting next chapter, a lot more will happen, and things will start to make sense. I really hope you continue reading this and I can't wait to hear what all of you have to say about it. I'll probably post by next week._


	4. Chapter 4

Four

_"Ashley, your presence is immediately needed at the institute."_ Maryse says from the other side, not even bothering with casualties.

I'm surprised, she had made it pretty clear that I was no longer a part of her damn institute. "For?" I was not falling for her tricks again.

_"As I'm head of the institute, you should-"_

She starts, but I cut her off. "As I'm no longer a member of the institute, I don't have to answer to you." My voice sounds cold, even to me.

I hear a sharp intake of breath._ "Ashley, you have a duty to the Clave-"_

"And I'll carry out my duty if the Clave asks me to, otherwise I'm not coming."

_"You-"_

I hang up, not hearing whatever she had to say. I sigh, then turn to Magnus.

"I can't believe you just did that." He says, gleefully.

"I can't believe I just did that. She's gonna be pissed."

Magnus nods. "It's about time. She deserved it."

I'm about to agree, when my phone rings. This time it's Izzy.

"Hey, Iz."

_"By the angel, what did you do? Mom is mad. More than the usual, anyways."_ She laughs.

"I didn't do anything. Just gave her some facts."

_"Are you okay?"_ She asks, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I brush her off. "What about you? Maryse working you to the ground?" She probably was, Izzy and I mostly worked as a team, not as good as Jace and I, but good enough. Without me there, it would all be on Iz.

_"She's killing me. I haven't had a break in two days." I_ hear Maryse calling for her in the background._ "Make that three."_

I laugh. "You better go see her before she hunts you down."

She groans. _"I will. I'll call you later to make plans, Ash. We have to make up for Friday."_

"Okay, I'll talk to you then." At least she didn't forget about it.

She hangs up, just as Maryse shouts for her again.

I laugh. "I'm so glad that's not me anymore."

Magnus gives me a look. "Are you sure? Maryse might've handed you a mission."

"And?" I shoot back. "She humiliated me, Magnus. She said everything she was not supposed to. She used it against me. I trusted her. I became the best she ever needed. That she ever wanted."

Magnus listens to me patiently. "Ash, she did a mistake, but what about being a a Shadowhunter? Does it not matter anymore?"

I scoff, offended. "Of course it matters, it's still important to me. And I'm still a Shadowhunter. The Clave would never let go of their best. They need me." I was sure of it. I thought about this long and hard, and I was an important soldier to the Clave. One that couldn't be replaced. I was vital. Simple as that.

Magnus looks at me for a moment, deciding not to argue. "If you say so. Just be careful. The Law is hard, but it is the Law. That's the Clave's motto."

"I will be." I say, nodding. "But trust me on this one."

We both sit for a few minutes, I fiddle with my fingers before Magnus remembers startles.

"When's the last time we adjusted your glamour?"

I think. "Two weeks, maybe." I guess. "We were supposed to do it sometime in the last few days."

"I totally forgot."

"Its okay, I forgot too."

He nods. "Now or later?"

"Let's just get this over. The faster, the better." I hated having to do this. It always reminded me of what had happened. But I had to, it was the only way to avoid the questions and stares. And the memories.

Magnus looks at me, waiting for me to drop the glamour. It takes a minute for all the magic to fade, for the perfect skin to be marred by scars, for the once smooth surface to be covered by markings. I don't look Magnus in the eyes. When I'm drunk, I can pretend to not care. But now, now I couldn't. I could only remember how they were inflicted. How they came to be on my body.

I avert my eyes as Magnus runs his hands over my arms, his fingers barely touching the scars, the magic at his fingerprints hiding all there was to hide. First, he hides the ones on my hands and arms, then the ones on my back, then my ribs and chest. He quickly does the same to my legs, pausing for some time every now and then. It takes about an hour. Every time his hand brushes against a practically raised scar, I clench my hands, and try not to bring up any memories of the past, and every time, I fail.

He stops, giving me time to adjust every now and then. He watches me silently, as I gain control of the magic. He looks at me, a silent question in his eyes. I nod.

He comes closer, his hand holding my chin, his fingers flit across the right side of my face. I close my eyes, not wanting to see the pity in Magnus' own. That scar was the worst. It's length starting beneath my eye, stretching to my neck, stopping right before my collarbone. It was an ugly dark red color, not lessening as the years passed, not worsening either. Magnus was one of the few who had seen it. Jace and Izzy didn't know about it, about any of the scars. Alec did, Maryse told him some of the stuff, hoping to scare him away. And I never showed him any of it, afraid it really would scare him away. Obviously when it came down to it, it didn't matter if I had showed him or not.

As I open my eyes, I meet Magnus'. He looks at me in sadness, as if he too is reliving those dark moments.

"Thank you." I utter quietly.

Magnus doesn't answer, his eyes looking unfocused and lost.

"Magnus." He doesn't seem to notice me. "Magnus." I try again. "Magnus!" This time, I say it louder.

His eyes snap up to meet mine. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I zone out sometimes too." I say, getting ready to stand up. "You should rest-"

"I'm not talking about that, Ash." And there goes my plans. I sit back down.

"Magnus-" I start, but be cuts me off.

"All those scars. If I had just-" he says, looking at me with guilt in his eyes.

"Wasn't your fault. You saved me, Mags." I say firmly.

"But if I had been faster-" he starts. Again.

"You did what you could. I would still have scars, Magnus. You helped me stay alive."

"Ash, I-"

"Magnus, I'd be dead without you. Or worse, I'd still be alive wishing for death. Don't ever say you're sorry about that again. Ever." I add.

He runs his hands through his hair, seeming to be torn between letting go and blaming himself. I lean closer to him, pulling him into a hug.

"I love you, Mags."

"Love you too, Ashley." He says, seeming more at peace. Lending me his magic often set him off. I think it's because of the amount of energy he has to use.

"You should rest. I'll cook, we can eat when you get up."

He nods, moving to his bedroom. I watch as he snatches a bottle on his way to the bedroom.

"I saw that. No alcohol."

He groans, apparently thinking he was going to get away with it.

"Ash, it's one bottle."

"No, no alcohol." I was not changing my mind.

He groans again. "Fine. Wake me in an hour." He could just make one appear in his hands in the bedroom, but he wouldn't. He never did.

I nod, although we both know I won't wake him up. I'll give him time to rest, like I always do. For the next hour, I boil the water, prepare then meat, cut vegetables, and measure the ingredients, following the steps. I was cooking one of Magnus' favorites. To repay him, I guess. Leaving the rice to cook, I set up the table, in case he wakes up.

After making sure everything was prepared, I go through my daily work-out. I had to leave some exercises out, as big as the loft was, I couldn't really do any of the extreme moves. Magnus would kill me if I broke one of his precious vases.

_break_

He doesn't wake up until two hours later. He shoots me a quick smile, looking way better than he did before sleeping.

"You didn't wake me up, kitten," He says.

"You needed it," I justify, turning back to plating the food. "Go sit at the table, I'll be there in a minute."

"Geez, someone's bossy." He jokes. "You don't need help?" He offers, as if I would ever take him up on that offer.

"With your luck, you'll burn down the kitchen." Sometimes I wonder who's worse; Izzy or Magnus.

He laughs, knowing just how true that really was. Submitting, he leaves for the table, and I join him a few minutes later with both our plates.

We eat silently for a few minutes. I watch Magnus' face, gauging his reaction for the food. I had tried a slightly altered recipe.

"God, Ash. If you keep cooking, I won't fit into my clothes anymore." Guess he liked it.

I snicker. "You can join my workouts. I need a sparring buddy."

"Oh, no. No. Absolutely not." He says, waving his hands around. "Last time, you almost killed me." He finishes, dramatically.

"Don't be such a drama queen, Mags. You only sprained your ankle. And that was your fault." I add.

"Fine. We'll spar." He sighs in feigned defeat. Seeing my excited expression, he adds. "Later. I'll add a room for it."

"Thanks, Magnus." I say, around a mouthful of food.

Neither one of us speaks as we finish our plates. After we're done, Magnus gets dish duty while I watch from the Island.

"Mags?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'd make a good parabati?"

He turns to face me.. "Of course, otherwise the Clave wouldn't have agreed." He gives me the answer he thinks I want to hear. The wrong one, really. He knows that it took years for the Clave to approve, and even then, they did it unwillingly.

"No." I shake my head. "I'm not talking about how the Clave sees it. I mean, do you think I would be a good parabatai?"

Magnus doesn't answer for a few moments, taking his time to think. "Well, you're the best, so that'd make you a pretty good partner. You're loyal to a fault, so that has to count for something." He stops for a second. "I know you'd lay your life down for someone you believe deserves it in a heartbeat, and that's what makes you the best, at least to me. Don't die on me though."

I smile slightly before asking another question. "If you were a Shadowhunter, would you be willing to be my parabatai?"

"If I were a Shadowhunter, I'd consider it." He says, giving me a vague answer. "But I'm not, so I can't make that choice."

"I know, Mags." I sigh. "I was just wondering."

I was just wondering if he thought I'd be good enough. I was just wondering why I was not good enough.

Magnus doesn't push it. He knows I'll tell him when I feel like it.

"How's your class coming up?" He asks instead.

"Fuck!" I shout, facepalming. "I forgot about that." Oh my god, I can't believe I forgot about it.

Magnus chuckles. "I thought so."

"God, she fucked up everything. I didn't even think of that when I left." I honestly couldn't even stand the thought of Maryse right now. I turn to Magnus. "The fuck am I gonna do now?"

Magnus shoots me a look. "Stop cursing, it's not gonna help. Did you even like training the class?"

"Yes!" I shout. "I mean, I hate that Jared kid, and sometimes the guys try to get slick, but I liked the training part. And some of them are really nice too." I add as an afterthought.

Magnus shakes his head, moving to sit on the island's chair. "I don't have anything. Your only chance is if Maryse suddenly drops dead."

I laugh. "I don't hate her that much." Sure, she might've kicked me out, and used my past against me, but I didn't want her dead.

"I didn't even know you liked it that much." He comments.

"Me neither. It was annoying at the beginning, you wouldn't believe how much of an asshole a guy can be, but it grew on me." I pause, thinking. "It helped, you know? Kept me busy. Missions are nice and all, but this had more purpose. I was helping them stay alive, you wouldn't believe how many die this young. The Clave just throws them in missions, they don't make sure if they can actually handle it. And a few Shadowhunters would accept working as a mentor. They think being a respectable Shadowhubter means throwing your life away, and a mentor is pretty much a sane job. It started as a punishment, but I didn't want to give it up."

"The Clave doesn't care except for their duty, ready or not." He states dryly. "But I thought missions were your purpose." Magnus jokes.

I laugh. "Sometimes, but it was a nice change." I sigh. "Well, it was nice while it lasted." The amount of things I lost were too much, but it's not like whining would make anything better.

Glancing at the clock, I notice that it's almost 11. I sigh softly, realizing, not for the first time, just how screwed up things really were. Magnus is watching me silently, before standing up to leave the room, probably just giving me space. Thank god he didn't push this time.

I mutter under my breath, moving to my room. I throw myself on the bed, bouncing a few times. My phone jumps beside me, I look at it as it beeps with a new message. It's Alec. I delete the text without reading it. I'm not ready to deal with him. Not yet. Not ever.

Sighing, I drop the phone on the bed beside me. I wallow in self-pity for a few minutes, before looking for some pajamas. I slip into some shorts, I'm in the process of taking off my shirt, when the door bursts open. I yelp, pulling the shirt back on quickly.

Magnus is standing at the doorway, looking excited.

"Mags!" I exclaim, my voice shrill. "I could've been naked!"

He ignores my glare. "But you're not. We're going out! Get dressed."

"But-" I argue.

"No buts. We're going to the club." He turns around, not giving me a chance to argue.

I sigh, before looking through the wardrobe. I should've known he wouldn't let me sleep peacefully. Magnus always bought me clothes, the closet was full of it. Dresses, shirts, pants, skirts, shoes. You name it, and it was there. I ruffle through the clothes for a few minutes, before settling on black skinny jeans, a tight white shirt, and one of my leather jackets. I consider wearing sneakers, but decide against it. Magnus would just force me to change, he's done that enough times. I unzip my duffel bag, and take out the heels Izzy gave me. They're black five-inch heels, straps crisscrossing until it reaches the ankle. I have a higher chance falling to my death with these on, then dying in a demon-fight, but it would take Magnus off of my case.

I finish before him, although that's not much of a shocker. Sitting in the living room, I wait for him to get ready. It takes another fifteen minutes for him to come out. Honestly, you'd think having magic would make him faster. But, no. Everything had to be perfect.

"Took you long enough." I say, my keys jingling in my hands.

"Perfection takes time, Ash." He says.

I laugh. "You always say that. Let's go."

I move to the door with my keys in hand, but Magnus obviously had different ideas. With a move of his hands, he had a portal.

I chuckle lightly. "This is not what I had in mind."

"It's faster." He shrugs, unapologetically. "Come on."

I take his extended hand, and walk through the portal. The Pandemonium is full of bodies moving to the beat, and the lights flicker in time with the moment we step into club, Magnus is surrounded by people. He gives me a questioning look, and I nod at the bar.

The bar is crowded, way too many people being served by way too few bartenders. A shot of vodka is placed in-front of me, and I look up to thank the bartender, downing the shot. Standing up, I make my way to the edge of the dancing floor.

I don't make it there.

_I'm really proud of this one. I hope you guys like it, and I'm really sorry about the long wait. Uhhh...my boyfriend left for collage, and a lot of stuff came up, so this wasn't on my list of priorities. Anyways, I really can't to hear what all of you think. The next update will be amazing, hopefully. I worked pretty hard on it. I'm trying to fill as many holes as I can _

_Love, _

_Farida_


	5. Chapter 5

Five

Someone is pining me to the ground. I can tell it's a Shadowhunter by the runes covering his arms. He obviously has an advantage over me, having caught me by surprise. I don't struggle against his hold, instead slackening. For a second, his hold on me lessens, but that's all I really need. A second.

Using my elbows as leverage, I aim a kick to my attacker's face, and he rolls from over me. I don't give him a chance to recover, springing up, I punch him in the nose, and blood spatters on my hand. I kick him in the knees and he falls to the ground. This time I'm the one pining him down. He's wheezing, in obvious pain. I'm pretty sure I broke his nose.

I'm about to question the guy, when I feel the swish of a kick behind me, quickly ducking I avoid it, before turning to face the attacker, making sure that the other one was still on the floor. I unsheathe my glamoured daggers, righting my stance. He has a long blade, but not quite as long as a sword. He seems to be trying to buy himself time, dancing around me, not attacking.

I move first, nicking him in the shoulders. He hisses, moving to apply his hand to the injured shoulder. We engage into a fight, but he's not fast enough. In a matter of a minute, I have him in a chokehold.

Looking up, I notice that I'm surrounded. And greatly outnumbered. I push the guy to the floor, and he doesn't move, having passed out from the lack of air. I stand up slowly, my stance defensive. The crowd makes way for a man about my age, maybe a year or two older. He's handsome. Blonde hair, green eyes, and a well-built body hugged tightly by his black shirt. He's also carrying a _kindjal_. A double-edged dagger. I hate kindjals.

He's cocky, walking confidently, before standing in-front of me. His stance is as defensive as mine. I try at a semi-civil approach.

"What do you want?" I don't put away my daggers, making it clear I won't back down.

He doesn't answer, instead smirking. Guess it's gonna be this way. He aims his weapon at me, before moving forward. I jump out of the way, before flipping to land behind him. He turns around surprised, and I kick him before he has a chance to think. He stumbles backward, and I quickly disarm him. He's a lot better than the first two. His hits more precise, his moves more calculated. He disarms me in a quick move, and I step back. Crouching, we fight for a couple minutes before I land on him. I grab a knife from his thigh strap, and press it to his neck.

"What do you want?" I ask again, exerting pressure on his throat using the knife.

He lets the silence linger, ignoring my question, instead signaling for the surrounding Shadowhunters. I know I don't stand a chance against them all. There are too many. I punch him once more in the face, hearing a satisfying crack, before I'm being pulled off of the blonde. I struggle blindingly, but it's futile. They snap handcuffs on me.

He's on his feet, smirking. "Bring her."

The Shadowhunters holding me back push me in his direction. I falter, one of the heels had broken off during the second fight. The blonde is still watching, amused. He kneels in front of me, before breaking off the second heel. I thrust my leg forward, getting him straight in the nose. He grunts in pain, before adding shackles to my feet. Quickly frisking me, he finds my stele and takes it.

Standing up, he looks me in they eye. I hold his gaze fiercely. "If you do that again, I will hurt you." He says, the threat evident in his voice.

"Do that, and I'll cut off your hand." I shoot back, my voice as hostile as his was.

He ignores me, instead moving forward. I'm pushed to move after him, and we walk for a minute until we reach an alleyway, close to the club. A portal is already open. Placing their hands on my shoulder, they push me through the blue light.

As we step on the other side, I recognize the surroundings. We're in Idris, in the Clave's headquarters to be specific. I stay quiet as we walk through the long corridors. A few minutes pass in silence, the only sound coming from the clinking of feet on the ground. They walk quickly, and I stumble a few times from the mishap of my shoes.

We stop at a door, and I notice that there are only two other Shadowhunters, besides the cocky blonde. The others left. The door is large, with golden engravings. I know that door.

"You're dismissed." My captor says. "I've got it from here."

The two holding me step back, before leaving. He steps into the room, and pulls on my shackles, prompting my feet forward. I snarl, bumping into his shoulder as I enter the room. He locks the door behind us, before turning to face the other occupant of the room. I look up too, not even surprised.

"Madam Inquisitor, I found her."

"Thank you, Malakai." She says, before looking at me. "It's good to see you, miss Ashley."

I snort. "I'd love to say the same, but I'm not much of a liar."

"It was crucial." Her tone is firm. "You are needed at once."

"With all due respect, a warning would've been nice, instead of being snuck on and shackled, Madam Inquisitor."

Malaki looks mad, standing behind the Inquisitor, but she raises a calm hand to stop him.

"Miss Ashley, we couldn't take that chance." I hate how calm she always is. It's unnatural.

"I'm sorry? I was too busy admiring my new handcuffs. I liked the old ones more, they were prettier." I know I'm not being mature, and talking back to authority was a big no-no, but I hated losing control, and being shackled did exactly that. If I couldn't use my hands, then how the hell was I supposed to defend myself.

She's frustrated, but hides it well. "I think it'll be best if we start the topic at hand."

"When you take off the cuffs." I say, finality evident in my voice.

She almost looks surprised, I've never asked for that before. "Miss Ashley, as a safety precaution, you have to be handcuffed when in Idris. You know that." Of course, I knew that. At this, Malakai looks surprised, apparently he hadn't known.

"No shit. That's why I keep away from here." I huff. They're the ones that got me here, they had better let go of their stupid rule. "If you don't take them off, consider my answer no. To anything you have to ask."

At this, Malakai turns redder, obviously angered. "It is an honor to serve the Clave, whether it abides by our comfort or not." He says the words that were drilled in his mind.

I laugh dryly. "Do I look like someone who cares about your damn honor?"

He falters, obviously not expecting that answer, and actually takes in my appearance. A tattered shirt, bruised arms, cut lip, and soulless eyes. The Inquisitor is watching us both, before settling on a decision.

"Malakai, take off the binds." She finally says. Good thing she knows I wouldn't have backed down. Usually, I'd keep quiet, but today was _not_ my day.

"But-" Malaki argues.

"Do it." Her authority is obvious in these words. "Use the light rune, then the activation rune. Above each other. Twist the bonds."

He stands in front of me, and reluctantly takes out his stele. I smirk slightly, raising my hands in mocking. He growls, before drawing the runes on the bonds. It's the only way to break these chains, the Iron Sisters specially made them for this. He bends down, doing the same to the ones on my feet, then moves back to his place behind his boss.

The inquisitor looks at me, her hands folded atop her desk. "Miss Ashley, I'm offering you a mission of utmost importance." She might've made it sound like an offer, but we both knew it was anything but. "Many greater demons are on the loose, they're feeding off shadowhunter blood." She says gravely.

Now, I understand what she meant by 'crucial'. I'm in full Shadowhunter mode right now. My brain picking all the details. "Why?"

She looks at me helplessly. "We still don't know. However, many Shadowhunters are being targeted, and if more are taken, the Shadow World might be in grave danger. You understand why you're needed, am I right to assume that?"

I smirk. Of course I did. "Of course. How many greater demons are out?"

She looks at Malakai and he answers. "We're not sure yet, but there has been about twenty two sighting since last week. I'd say about three are out."

"How many have we lost?" I ask.

"Four dead, and two injured. The bodies found were drained of blood." He answers, while handing me their files.

I hate how he says it so casually, as if four lives were nothing. I flip through the files, and notice there are no pictures, not a lot of information either.

"I'll need more than this. What about Hell? Have you sealed the entrance?"

The inquisitor answered this time. "That's the problem, miss Ashley. The entrance has disappeared."

I nod slowly, putting the pieces together. "How is that even possible, Madame Inquisitor?" I ask, my tone mocking.

She clears her throat, and I know I've hit a nerve. "We're still not sure." She manages to lie.

I shoot her a look, but decide against arguing. I had a better chance than any other shadowhunter, because I had what they didn't. I decide to use this to my advantage. "I'll carry it out, on a few conditions."

"That's not how things work around here." The Inquisitor says.

"Then my answer's no." I say, turning towards the door. I know what's coming next.

In a second, Malakai is over me, holding me in place. I slightly smirk, knowing he was in for a surprise. I draw my nails along his arm, and fire lights up his shirt. He rolls quickly, then cuts off the sleeve, all the while trying to avoid the flames. The sleeve burns to nothing.

"If you ever even think about putting your hands on me again, I'll burn them off, then kill you." My words are laced with venom, and they are both looking at me in shock. He stands, his eyes wide. "You didn't tell him." I say, nodding my head in her direction. "You sent him to find me, and you didn't tell him." I turn to him. "You're lucky to be alive, pretty boy."

She doesn't answer, ignoring my accusations, instead trying to stare me down. "Miss Ashely, are you willing to accept this mission?"

"On a few conditions." I repeat.

"Miss Ashely, my position gives me the right to see that you get what you deserve for not abiding by the Law." She threatens lightly.

My smile holds no warmth. "What are you gonna do? Exile me? Classify me as a traitor?"

"I can do that." I have to give her credit. Her voice hasn't wavered.

"Oh, wait. Or you can de-rune me. Go ahead, do it. See if I care." I spread my arms and bow my head, the man is looking at me like I'm the stupidest person he's ever met. If only he knew. "But you won't? You want to know why?" I prompt.

The blonde cocks his head, while the Inquisitor looks uncomfortable. I continue on, anyway. "Because I'm your best chance. Your only chance, really. Unless, of course, you'd rather the mundanes find out about the Shadow World. I'd imagine Hell would break loose. Literally." I finish, holding the Inquisitor's eyes. She knows it's true.

"That won't be necessary. I'm sure we can come to an agreement." She says, obviously displeased that I've won.

"Glad we understand each other."  
I say, plopping on the floor, the shoes hurt. Blondie eyes me. "One, I want information-"

He cuts me off before I can continue. "What type of information?"

"The personal type. I want a Sam Valor's file."

"Why?" It's like he's interrogating me.

"Cause it's one of my conditions. Is that alright, miss Heronadale?" She stops for a second at her name.

"Information like that may be confidential." She says evenly.

"I know. That's why I'm asking you." I need to tone down my attitude. "I'm not gonna hunt the kid down. I promise not to make contact with him or abuse the information. I'll swear a blood oath if you want."

"Consider it done, miss Ashely. But I will need your reasons for it."

"Just Ashley, please. Second term, I get to choose my own team." I hated working with people I didn't know. You can't really trust them.

She frowns, about to talk, but Malaki beats her to it. "You can't do that. The team has already been chosen." He states with finality.

I shrug, unapologetic. "Then change it."

"Malakai was supposed to lead the team, and the rest are already chosen, mi-Ashley." Miss Herondale adds.

"No can do. I'm not working on this to have some asshole breath down my neck all the time." I say, annoyed.

"Watch your tone, bitch." Malaki shoots back.

"You're the one with a broken nose and a black eye. Who's the bitch really?" I counter. I think if I open my mouth again, there's a big chance he will blow up.

"Look here, I'm the one in charge of this mission and you had better remember it." He's pissed. The Inquisitor is watching the exchange with something akin to annoyance.

"Then good luck marching to your death." I say, casually. Without me, there was no mission.

"Are you both done bickering?"

We both look up to the third person in the room, having forgotten she was there.

"I apologize, madam Inquisitor." We both say at the same time.

She ignores the half-hearted apology. "You both can come to an agreement of some sorts. How about Ashley will lead along with you, and she choses the team."

I think about the offer, it was the best I would get. "I wouldn't mind that. He isn't too shabby."

He looks surprised as he fumes silently. "As you wish."

"Great. How many were on the old team?" I ask, my question aimed at Malaki.

"Ten, counting me. Makes it easier to track it down and surround it."

I shake my head. "You can't win all your fights like that. That's too much. A group that big will lead the demons right to us. The most we can have is five. Greater demons are keen on us."

He thinks about my point, before reluctantly agreeing. "You, me and?"

"Isabelle and Jace Lightwood." I answer in a heartbeat.

"Not a bad choice, but that's only four." The inquisitor points out.

"Jace has a parabatai, he'll probably appreciate it if his parabatai - Alexander Lightwood- came along." I say, a bit bitter. "Is this okay with you? Or would you rather choose someone?"

He stops for a second, surprised by my offer, before shaking his head. "No, the team is fine."

I nod. "I just need one more thing. I'm aware I'm no longer part of the institute, but I'd like it if-"

The inquisitor cuts me halfway. "You aren't?"

"Nope. I got kicked out."

Her eyebrows rise in surprise, but she schools her face pretty fast. "Oh, that why we couldnt reach you. You are a member if that institute, the Lightwoods know that." she shake her head in distaste. "I'll send a fire message."

"No!" I shout. "No, I don't care about the institute."

"Then what do you want?" He asks, interested.

"I've been carrying out a training class for the younger Shadowhunters at the New York Institute, but I can no longer continue them as I'm not part of it."

"You want to continue training the class?" The inquisitor asks.

"Yup. But I don't want to be a part of the institute."

"That will be a problem."

"Frankly, I don't care. I'm not being part of that thing."

The Inquisitor nods. "That can be arranged. After all, many of them appreciate your classes, you seem to have done good."

"Oh, thank you." I sigh. "That's all."

The Inquisitor looks relieved too. "Do you agree to take on the mission?"

"I'd be honored to." I say, winking at blondie.

He snorts in amusement, before hissing. I eye his wound, blood is dripping, not too much, but it wasn't a small cut, or a clean one. He is trying to stop the blood flow, while not pressing on the surrounding burnt skin.

"Then it's settled. Brief your team, and don't give out information, to anyone." She orders.

I feel guilty, before moving to stand in front of him. "Here, let me see it."

He hesitates, and I pull his arm towards me. He's tall, way taller than me. He grunts. "What're you doing?"

I roll my eyes. "Helping you." Running my hands over the wound, I heal it. Both the cut and the burn disappear.

He looks shocked, watching me. "Is that an Iratze?"

I smirk. "Something like that." I turn to the inquisitor. "That reminds me, I nicked one of the Shadowhunters with my dagger. Oh, and one of them got cut on the neck."

She nods, understanding. "I'll bring them now, so you can leave. You can acquaint with each other."

She closes the door behind her, leaving us in an awkward silence.

"So, you got magic." Malaki starts. "That's why they need you."

"It's not magic."

He nods, before changing the topic. "The Lightwoods, huh? I heard the trio are pretty good." I'm impressed. He's attempting to be civil.

"Some of the best." I say, proudly.

"They your friends?" At this point, Kai was slumped against the desk, and I had sat on the floor again.

"They're like family." I answer.

"But you're not a Lightwood." He states.

"Nope." I say, poping the p. "I'm not really a someone." I say this casually, hiding just how much it hurt to admit that.

Malaki nods. "I know. I think everyone of the Clave knows."

I laugh lightly. "Yeah, probably."

The door opens, and in comes the Inquisitor, followed by two Shadowhunters. Both have obvious bloodied wounds.

The first is a brunette, kind of on the short side. His neck is wounded, still bleeding. It's clear someone tried to quench the blood, but it wouldn't have made a difference. I look him in the eye.

"Don't move." Placing my hand on the wound, I slowly heal it. It takes longer than I thought, the wound was deep.

Taking off my hand, I direct his neck to both sides, making sure the wound wouldn't reopen.

The second one's wound is smaller, and it heals faster. As I place my hand on it, I check him out. He's cute, pretty young. Blue eyes stare back at me.

"Your defense sucks." I say, moving my hands to his broken nose. "And your stance is sloppy, I could've broken your knees."

Malaki is snickering, and the boy is definitely seething. "We got you, didn't we?" He asks, snark evident in his voice.

I take a step back before talking. "No, sweetie. You surrounded me. I'm the one that got you."

The Inquisitor dismisses both of them, and I turn to her. "What did you tell them?"

"That your dagger is connected to your runes, so you can heal them faster." She says, not missing a beat.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I ask. "Alone, please." I add.

She nods, and gestures to Malaki to wait outside. I wait until he's out before talking.

"You didn't tell him." I start. "How am I supposed to work with the team on this mission? I worked alone for a reason."

She frowns. "You'll figure it out. You can't tell anyone, Ashley. If you do, then-."

I cut her off. "I won't, believe me.  
Even if I could, I wouldn't tell anyone." She nods, looking at me with pity. I ignore it.

"Ashley, I really do appreciate you for doing this." She places a hand on my shoulder, her eyes soft. "I'm sorry abour athe institute."

I bow my head, slightly surprised, before shaking my head. "Not like I was truly a part of it."

She gives me a small nod. "I wish you all the best. May the Angel have mercy on you."

At this point, I'm almost too surprised by her kindness. "Thank you."

She drops her hand quickly. "You must get going."

I nod. "Umm…Miss Herondale, the cuffs?" She might've taken them off here, in her office, but I still had to wear them outside.

"The handcuffs are with mister Malaki." She says. "Thank you for your time, Ashley."

I turn around, slipping outside her office. Blondie is waiting outside, and I hold out my hands. He snaps on the cuffs before starting to walk beside me.

"Wanna meet up with the team right now?" I ask him. "We can go get something to eat."

He nods, not voicing his agreement. We walk slowly until we reach the building's door. Outside, I see two Shadowhunters standing. One of them is a dark-skinned man. Raj. To be clear, I hate Raj's guts. He is part of the New York institute. I hope to slip unnoticed, but he catches my eyes before laughing.

"The dog finally found her place, Malaki?" He laughs, mocking me for the chains.

I ignore him, instead sticking beside the blonde. Malaki ignores him too, putting a hand on my shoulder to show me the direction.

"I bet you'd take it good, slut. Had plenty of practice, didn't you?" He jabs at me again.

I stiffen slightly, before continuing to walk. My heart drops. Raj was hinting at something. Something he shouldn't know. Unfortunately, I don't have my dagger on me, or my stele. Surprisingly enough, Malaki is the one that answers him.

"Shut it, Ablack. Or I'll have you benched." He snarls.

Raj smartly stops his remarks, but I know it's not too long before he starts with them again. If he knew, who else did. I can't have people looking at me like Raj.

I whisper my thanks to him, and he leads me to a portal, his hands on my shoulder the whole way.

"Where are we going, Kai?" I ask him.

"To the New York institute, so we can meet up with the team." He answers.

"Do we have to? Can't we meet them somewhere else?" I suggest. I don't want to go there.

"Why?" He asks.

I think up a lie. "Privacy."

He shrugs. "If you say so."

"I'm staying at a friend's place. I'll portal us there." I turn to look at him. "Can you take off the handcuffs?"

He looks torn for a second, before nodding. They burn off as he draws the runes. "You have a lot of secrets." He states.

"Yup."

He hesitates, before handing me my stele. "Here."

"Thanks, Kai."

He looks at me for a moment before talking. "Why do you call me that?"

"Kai?" I ask.

He nods jerkly.

"Cause I give all my friends nicknames."

"We're not friends."

I let out a laugh. "We became friends the moment you told Ablack to fuck off." I don't give him a chance to argue. "Let's get going. Magnus is going to be worried."

I pull him through the blue-lighted portal.

_Uhhh...i know that I pretty much died when it came to updating this fic, but I've been having a hard couple of weeks. Right side of my face is pretty much dead, I cant move it, and I just havent felt right in a long time, so I totally forgot about this fic. Anyways, I'd really like to thank anyone who reviewed, it really really really means so much to me, and definitely encouraged me to post this chapter. I hope you guys like it. Its only gonna get better from here. I hope. I'd love to hear what you guys think._

_Love, _  
_Farida_


	6. Chapter 6

I portal into the hallway leading to the loft. Kai gives me a disgruntled look.

"You could've given me a warning before that thing sucked me in."

"Think of it as payback for sneaking up on me." I say, throwing him a look over my shoulder.

He shakes his head, before walking after me.

"Magnus might try to kill you." I warn him, as I knock on the door.

The door flings open in a second, and a concerned Magnus stands in the doorway. He looks ready to yell, so I quickly talk.

"Hey, Mags." I wave awkwardly.

Magnus effectively ignores me, his dark eyes zeroing in on Kai. His concerned expression changes into one of pure anger, and I move in between them.

"Step back, Ashley." Magnus growls.

"It's fine. He's a friend." I try to pacify him.

"Don't lie." He doesn't spare me a look. "I saw him cuffing you."

"It was an order." Kai starts, and I glare at him. He was not helping his case.

Magnus looks ready to hurt him, so I place a hand on his arm, squeezing gently.

"There is something going on. Something bigger than all of this." I say, urgently. "And Kai really is a friend, he took off the cuffs in Idris, Mags." He still doesn't look convinced. "We're going inside and talking about this like sensible adults." I say firmly, pulling both men behind me.

Magnus closes the door behind us, shooting an untrusting look at Kai. "What's going on, Ash?"

"Nothing new, the Clave screwed up again, and they're expecting me to clean after them." I say, casually.

"Hey!" Kai shouts, offended. "You shouldn't even be telling _him_ anything."

"Shut up, shadowhunter." Magnus tells Kai.

"Don't tell me-" He starts.

"Shut up." I cut him off, and Magnus shoots a smug smirk at Kai. "Both of you." I add, and watch as the blond throws him a similar look. "Let me you introduce formally."

"Kai, this is Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn." I gesture to Magnus. "Mags, this is Malaki, and we're working on the mission together."

"So you were right?" Magnus says, ignoring Kai all together.

"Of course. I'm never wrong. Mags, can Jace and Iz come over? They're on the team."

"Yeah, but you're telling me everything." He answers after a moment of silence.

"When they get here." I promise, and Kai gives me a displeased look.

"Fine." Mags agrees.

I check my phone, then sigh. "I'll go charge my phone, it's dead." I look at my clothes, then fix both of them with a glare. "I'm washing up too. Don't kill each other."

Closing my bedroom's door, I can hear them start to argue. I leave my phone to charge, before stripping down. The jeans were literal frays at this point, and the white shirt looked like a red canvas. Throwing both of them in a corner, I get into the shower, turning on the water to the hottest thing possible. I close my eyes as water mixes with blood on its way down the drain.

I hated going anywhere near the Clave. I hated being cuffed. I hated how I was the backup plan. I hated lying about everything. But most of all, I hated the thought of anyone finding out. Which brings me back to Raj. It could've been one of his stupid tries at insulting me, but I couldn't help but feel like he knew something, something he definitely shouldn't know. I push that thought to the back of my mind. It would only frustrate me even more.

Getting out of the shower, I realize that I forgot to bring a change of clothes. I put my hair up, and wrap myself in a towel, before walking into the bedroom, only to find Kai sitting on my bed. We both freeze for a second, before I scream.

Magnus knocks on the door. "Is everything alright in there?" He asks loudly.

I swallow once, steadying my voice. "Yeah, I just thought I saw a spider."

"Okay." I wait for Magnus to walk away, before turning to Kai. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

He averts his eyes from my body. "Your boyfriend was gonna kill me. He looked ready to impale me." He murmurs as an excuse. "Sorry."

"One, Magus is not my boyfriend. That's just ew. Like major ew." I say, moving to my closet. "Two, Magnus wouldn't kill my friend, no matter how much he hated said friend. Three, you could've easily fought back." I find some comfy shorts and a sports bra, and turn to look pointedly at him. He flushes, before turning to face away from me. "Four, we are never gonna mention this to Magnus, or he'll definitely kill you." I throw the blanket at his back. "Five, please tell me this was not the first time you saw a girl naked."

"No, you just surprised me." Kai defends himself.

"Hmm…you can turn around now." He faces me, cheeks still a bit red. "I'll call Jace, and then we can start planning."

He shuffles awkwardly. "Okay, I'll just wait outside." He says moving to the door.

"No." I shake my head, my hair still dripping. "Wait here. I want to talk."

He nods, sitting on the bed, while I call Jace. He answers right before the call disconnects.

"Hey, dumbass."

"Glad to see you're still the same as ever." Jace chuckles.

"Are you doing anything right now?"

"Nah, I was gonna go spar with Alec."

"Forget about training. Get Iz and come here." I say.

"Why?" Jace always had to ask questions.

"Mission." I reply shortly. "I'll send you the address. This place has magic wards, so knock this time."

"Mom gave you a mission?" He sounds surprised, and giddy.

"Course not, Inquisitor Herondale did. I'll tell you everything once you get here."

"Oh." Jace seems disappointed. He was obviously hoping Maryse was the one that gave me the mission.

"Tell Izzy to keep quiet. I'll explain stuff to her later, yeah?"

" Sure, I'll get Iz and come. Umm…Ash?" He asks hesitantly.

"What is it, Jace?"

"You don't want Alec to come too?"

"No, I don't need him." I answer after a beat.

I hear him sigh, defeated. "We'll be there in fifteen. Bye, Ash."

"Bye, Jace." I hang up, and turn to Kai. "Done, they're coming."

"So what is it?" Kai asks.

"You can't mention anything about me healing you and the others to anyone, okay?" I push out, tense.

"Don't the Lightwoods know?" He asks, raising both eyebrows at me.

"No. And I'm keeping it that way. Kai, It was a fluke. I shouldn't have healed you."

He nods slowly, realizing the importance of this. "I won't say anything, but I got a question."

"Shoot."

"How'd you make my shirt catch on fire?"

I smile sadly, and say the same lie. "My dagger."

"You can do a lot more, can't you?"

"Not much." I could always ask Magnus to erase Kai's memories, but I'd feel bad about it.

Suddenly, Kai gets an annoyed expression. "We are not telling the warlock anything." He says, well more like order, really.

"That warlock is an unofficial part of our team. Think of it as an advantage, we're dealing with demons, and he's half-demon."

"Isn't that the problem?" He asks bitterly.

I fix him with a cold glare. "Just because he has demon blood, it doesn't make him the enemy, Kai."

"I still don't like it."

"You don't have to like it. I didn't like it when you punched me, or when you broke my heels, or when you cuffed me, but I'm still here. Imogen knows about him anyways."

He stares at me for a second. "Imogen, huh?"

"Yeah, her and I, we go way back. Don't worry about Magnus, I'll handle it." I end the argument, not giving him a chance. "I'll arrange the files until Izzy and Jace come."

He shoots me another annoyed look before following me out of the room. Magnus notices Kai leaving my room, and eyes him threateningly.

"They're coming in ten, Mags."

He nods, and I bend to clear the coffee table. I place the files on it, before handing one to Magnus. Kai mutters something under his breath, and I ignore him. I read the victims' files thoroughly, making sure I picked up on all the details. We sit in silence for a few minutes, before the doorbell rings. I run to the door, and open it for the rest of my team.

"Jace!" I exclaim, as he moves in for a hug, lifting me off the ground. I can hear Izzy laughing. "Put me down."

"Okay. Okay." He laughs, lowering me. "I missed you, Ash." He whispers quietly.

"I missed you too. Just a little though." I chuckle.

"Hey, Ash." Izzy says as she hugs me. "You're staying here?" She asks, looking around in amazement.

I nod. "Yeah. Magnus let me stay here."

"Magnus?" Iz asks, confused. Jace just nods, his eyes meeting mine in understanding.

"Come in, I'll introduce you." I say, closing the door behind them. "They're here." I shout.

Magnus and Kai are still on the couch, they look like they're in the middle of a heated argument. Izzy lets out an audible gasp at the sight of the men, while Jace just sticks beside me. Magnus smiles politely at them, ignoring Kai's presence.

"Jace, Iz. That's-" I start while gesturing at the warlock.

Izzy cuts me off with squeal. "Magnus Bane. I know." She moves forward to shake his hand, looking way too excited

Jace and I exchange bewildered looks. "Uh…okay." I say. "The blonde one is Malakai, he's working on this with us."

Jace moves forward to shake hands with both men, eyeing Kai with careful eyes, while Iz checks out Kai, her eyes roaming his figure. Kai looks at me questioningly.

"Where's the third one?" He asks.

"Four is enough." I retort.

Magnus is watching the exchange with interest, while Jace and Iz look desperate.

"But-" Kai starts.

"Let's start." I cut in.

He nods, noticing the tension. He gestures at me to start.

I turn to the team. "Demons are hunting shadowhunters, then draining their blood." I say, throwing a few files at Jace, he catches them. "The body count is four. Two got away, both with severe injuries."

"And?" Izzy prompts me.

"As usual. The Clave messed up." I chuckle humorlessly.

"What did they do this time?" Jace asks, while Kai looks offended.

"They-" I start, but Kai cuts me off.

"The Clave doesn't screw up." He says, in a way, mocking me.

I turn to face him, my eyes ablaze. "Let's get something straight, Kai. This is not the first time I'm cleaning up after the Clave. Their plans backfire, they try to hide it, so they call me." I point to myself. "The fact that the entrance disappeared? Not a coincidence. Hell doesn't just disappear, not unless someone tries to intrude. And who'd intrude besides someone with a death wish?" I ask, my voice rising. "The damn Clave. They've been trying for years to end all demons, and because of their mistakes, the demons will end us all. They may not be directly responsible for the dead Shadowhunters, but they are a most definite reason."

Kai stares at me shocked, looking like he's going to talk some more, but Izzy beats him to it. "The entrance disappeared?"

"Yup, which means we can't banish the demons this time. No hell means no prison." I huff out a breath.

"What are we doing, Captain?" Jace asks, jokingly.

"I'm thinking we try to identify the injuries inflicted on the corpses, find out the demons responsible, try to understand why they're after shadowhunter blood." I say, looking at Kai for confirmation. He nods, agreeing with my plan, so I continue. "Then we can hunt down the demon, find a way to lock it back in hell. We don't have much time. It has drained four in the matter of a week. We're still not sure how many demons are out." I say, grimly. "Or what the blood is for."

"Maybe an Awakening ceremony?" Izzy puts in.

I shrug. "Maybe. But these are greater demons. They're already awake."

Jace nods. "I'll look the files over."

"They're all yours. You can share with Iz." I say. "The pictures are still with the Inquistor. Kai will get 'em tomorrow."

She nods, before taking a file herself, and settling down to read. Kai is staring at Izzy, I nudge his leg with my knee, and he turns to look at me, a little flushed. I ignore his red cheeks, and instead ask him a question.

"Can I question the victims?" I ask, quietly.

He shrugs. "I'm not sure. I'll ask the Inquisitor tomorrow."

I nod, before turning to face him again. "And the file I asked for, don't forget about it. I'm not going back to Idris."

"Okay. I'll come tomorrow morning, we can think strategy then." Kai says, and I agree.

I rest my head against the couch, and look up to meet Magnus's eyes. His eyes are fixed on my face, the right side to be exact. I almost ask what's wrong, but lose my words as his eyes widen in horror.

My face sears hot with pain.

_I'm really late, and school is to blame. I've been living off three hours of sleep a day and its killing me. I really hope you guys liked this, and I would love to read your reviews. _

_With much love, _

_Faridaa_


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